U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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