Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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