I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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