Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
