hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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