What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think i have two assholes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
