I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
