So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
