So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
