I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
