My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
