but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
