physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
