I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
