I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
