We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
