she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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