i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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