I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
