its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
