i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
