Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
