now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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