you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
