Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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