If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
