Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
