all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
