I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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