I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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