how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
