did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We got so high we made milksteak
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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