so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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