dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
