How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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