my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You ruined the universe
Randomize
