he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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