What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Acid is not a monday night drug
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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