i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
