Small penises have feelings too.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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