you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
