i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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