Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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