Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
