You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
