New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
