left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
cat food counts as protein by the way
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
