Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
