I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
