So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
