Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Welp...herpes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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