its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
