I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
