I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
