Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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