he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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