marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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