I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
